Member-only story
I Thought You Were Constipated
(a country song)
I didn’t know you left me
I thought you were in the bathroom
You’ve been constipated lately
Spending your time in the bathroom.
I didn’t think you’d ever leave me.
Maybe you weren’t suffering
Or suffering another kind of suffering
Maybe you were plotting
Spending your time in the bathroom.
I didn’t think you’d ever leave me.
Did you kill Uncle Joe?
Maybe that’s what you were plotting
While you pretended constipation
Spending your time in the bathroom.
I didn’t think you’d ever leave me.
Uncle Joe was my favorite uncle
He bought me the best presents all the time
He was the only uncle who got me
Unlike Uncle Frank; he got me another way.
Did Uncle Frank get you, too?
Did you confuse Frank and Joe?
I wish that you had told me
Spending your time in the bathroom.
